Oh, How the Mighty Fall
by myapostle
Summary: Ed has sunken into a depression post-return from the gate. But he finds a little help from a former superior goes a long way...
1. Chapter 1

Ed laid his head on his arms, one hand still poised in the air holding a glass of whiskey. He swung the glass in a circular motion, the rhythm of the swirling alcohol soothing to him in some way. It wasn't his first night in this creaky, run-down tavern in Resembol and he doubted it'd be his last. But there was solace here in the wooden chairs and the over-perfumed bartender. Comfort he couldn't find at home.

Ever since his return from the gate, things hadn't been the way he had dreamed. Hard to believe that such a seemingly perfect ending could turn out to be just the opposite, but Ed had found that to be the case. It'd been a full year since he lost his alchemy and gained back a brother.

The thought of this full wasted year sitting alone in a bar made him take another swig of his drink.

Ed shook his head, he would never regret losing his alchemy to get Al back, nothing was more important than Al. But losing alchemy had been more of a heavy blow than he had realized at a time. It was like a part of him had died, part of his identity, something he could never get back. It made him miserable, sad, but even more so angry. Why should losing his alchemy be this important to him? The anger he felt at his feelings, at his sense of worthlessness refused to go away. So he took to the bottle. Much like a former superior of his.

"Anything else, love? Or are you done for the night?" The bartender Millie gave a smile, she had seen him there countless times, and knew his pattern by now. She was a sweet lady,married t o the owner of the tavern, but every so often he had spotted a gleam of concern in her motherly gaze.

Ed glanced down at his nearly empty drink and gave a heavy sigh. As it was, he was done for the night. His head was fuzzy, it was surprising his thoughts were still coherent. Not to mention, the clock was striking 1, and he was sure Al was going to get worried if he didn't make it home by 2. Even though he told his little brother to not wait up for him, he always heard a creak in his room as the door opened early in the morning. His brother always made sure he was okay. Almost as if the roles had been switched, Ed mused bitterly.

With a stumble he got up off his chair, tossing a lazy good evening towards Millie and the few remaining patrons and headed for home. The night was cold but the alcohol warmed his body as it coursed through his veins. The chill was welcome.

He knew the way home by heart, an easy walk that even his drunken self had no problem finding. His biggest concern was not waking up Al and Winry with his heavy boots treading through the house. They were typically asleep at this time, but some evenings they may have been lying awake, talking as lovers do. It hadn't taken long for Winry and Al to become close, but Ed watched it before his eyes with something like dread. He wasn't jealous, but he felt excluded. It was no longer him and his brother as close as anything, it was Ed standing on the sidelines, while Al turned to Winry for support and comfort.

And love. There was no doubt of the love Al had for her, it showed in his face so clearly. Even when she was prattling on about engines and mechanics, a language so foreign to the Elrics, he just gazed at her in admiration.

Sometimes Ed wanted to slap him for being so obvious about it.

Maybe Ed was jealous, but not because Al was with Winry. He also wanted someone to love. He wanted someone to be close to. But who would want him, with all his issues and his problems...

He felt the tears running down his face, turning freezing cold on his cheeks. He noticed it was something that happened when he drank, and drank too much. All of the tears that he had held back for those years during the search for the stone, came crashing down his face as if someone had opened the floodgates. All of the pain and hurt he had gone through, the loss he had felt he allowed to escape in the form of tears for just those few drunken hours. It sometimes was a relief to his pain, and sometimes it was just a reminder of his misery.

He was nearly back to the house at that point, and was wiping the tears off with his coat sleeves when he noticed a light still on inside. It was odd, Al and Winry were typically in their room at this time of night. He was too drunk really to pay any attention to it as he opened the door to find his brother and Winry sitting in the living room talking in hushed voices that silenced when he walked in.

His brother got up and made his way toward Ed grabbing him by the shoulders gently, looking into his eyes with a quiet concern. Ed's thoughts were blurred but he vaguely recalled crying during the walk, and realized he must have looked a mess.

"Ed are you all right?" Al asked, already knowing his brother's answer before he even said it.

It was always the same.

"Yeah, I'm fine Al. What're you guys doing still up?" His last sentence was slurred and his eyes struggled to find focus.

"Ed we need to talk to you." Al guided him to the couch, sitting him down next to Winry who eyed him with worry.

"It can't wait til morning?" Ed mumbled, even in his less than sober state he felt a lecture coming on which he sought to evade.

"Listen, we love you so much." Tears sprung up at Winry's eyes. "We can't let you ruin your life like this."

Ed was surprised and reeled towards his brother, "Wait, what does she mean, Al?"

Al sighed, taking a deep breath before responding. "What Winry means, brother, is that your drinking is destroying you. You aren't yourself, I-I feel like I don't even know you anymore" He nervously wrung his hands together.

"I am myself." Ed frowned, the severity of the conversation was quickly sobering him up. "Is this about the drinking? I just drink in the evening sometimes, it's not a big deal."

"It's all the time, you're drinking your life away. And you won't talk to anyone." Al seemed especially hurt by his brother's lack of communication.

Ed immediately jumped to his typical defensive attitude. "Who should I confide in, Al? You're always with Winry."

He saw the flash of hurt in the eyes of both of them, but especially his younger brother. But he didn't care, how could they ambush him like this?

"Do you not want me to be with Winry?" Al said quietly, looking at his brother. "You know I'm always there for you." He noticed Winry giving Al a confused look.

"No, no. It's not like that..." Ed mumbled suddenly feeling ashamed. "I just feel so alone."

"Oh Ed!" Winry threw her arms around him. "We never want you to feel that way, you know how much we love you. I just don't think we're what you need right now. You need to be around more people, and you need to DO something. I think you've gotten depressed because there hasn't been a goal around for you."

Al shot her a look,when she had said the word "depressed", but Ed didn't need a veil. He knew that he had sunken into a depression, he wasn't completely naive.

"So what do you think I should do?" Ed mumbled, his head falling dejectedly into his hands. He didn't want to feel this way anymore, this worthlessness that permeated everything.

"Well, I called Mustang and his crew up in Central." Al said slightly ashamed, accepting the quick glare his brother tossed at him.

"You want me to go to Central? Is this because you don't want me around?" Ed snapped back his answer, knowing already that it wasn't the case. He had been watching his brother's concern for him grow over the past months.

"No! Brother you KNOW that's not true. But there is nothing here in Resembol for you, maybe the Colonel can help you find work, something you can enjoy doing."

"Like what? How can Mustang help me. Besides, Al, you know he's an alcoholic himself." Ed glared at his younger sibling.

"Brother, I don't know how else to help you! It's been a year and I've only watched you grow worse, and more detached from everyone and everything. It hurts me that you aren't okay. You're 18, you should be happy, not putting yourself in an early grave. If you work in Central, or do research there around other people your age you won't be stuck in this small town. Maybe you'll be happier. You know that's all I want for you."

"I want to be happy too." Ed looked down at his hands, accepting his brother's concern.

"I truly only want you to be happy, I hate seeing you like this." Al's voiced dropped, and he stared deep into his brother's eyes, and for those moments it was just the two of them in the room. "Ed, I can never thank you enough for what you did for me. Nothing I can do can ever repay that debt, and to watch you throw away your brilliance while I can do _nothing_ to stop it breaks my heart."

"I've told you before, you don't need to thank me. I was only correcting my own stupid mistake. And what I do with my life shouldn't affect you." He paused, finally noticing Winry who had been sitting silently watching their interaction.

"I'm so proud of you Al. Really, I am. I wish I was more like you."

Al blinked back some surprise, not comprehending in what way Ed wished he was like him, but he didn't question it. He saw the sad, distant look his brother had taken on, and didn't think it wise to probe any further.

"That's funny brother, because so many times I wished I was more like you." Al gave a weak smile, as he pulled his brother in for a hug. "Will you call me while in Central?"

Ed gave a nod of agreement. He felt tired now to his core. But he knew Al was right. He needed to get his life together. And for the first time, he was accepting help with open arms.

"I'll go to Central Al, for you, and for me."

* * *

**A/N: AHHH I'm super excited for this fic! Thanks to everyone for reading! ^_^ **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ed threw his suitcase together lazily, not bothering to fold his clothes. Winry stood at the door with her arms crossed as he finished hurling the last of his items into the beat up wooden case, needing to sit on top of it to buckle it all down.

"Really Ed? Did you even plan this out at all?" Winry looked at him doubtfully. He had packed hardly anything and who knew how long he'd be gone.

Ed shrugged her off and was already heading down the stairs; where his brother was waiting to walk him to the train station.

_This is good, maybe they need some space from me. I'm a burden to them_. Ed miserably thought to himself.

He looked at his brother's perfect life, his happiness, his alchemy. He barely even used his alchemy and almost took it for granted. Ed felt a twinge of bitterness and jealousy flare up at the thought. It wasn't Al's fault, but it was hard to not get angry sometimes. Hard to act like he was ok.

It'd give Al piece of mind if he thought that Ed was getting help.

_Yeah. Getting help. What does that even mean?_

Ed sighed as he acknowledged his brother in the doorway, looking away as Al gave Winry a kiss goodbye. Very little was said on the walk to the station, both men were emotionally exhausted from the turmoil of the evening before. Ed in particular was in no mood to talk and made no response when his brother awkwardly attempted to start a conversation.

Al had given up trying to engage Ed til they got to the station. He gulped and looked at his older brother, who seemed to be just a shadow of what he used to be.

"Just don't hate me Ed."

"I don't hate you Al. I'll let you know when I touch base, ok?" Ed said with a weak smile, throwing his coat over his shoulder and embracing his brother briefly before turning away.

Al sat at the station for the next hour, unable to leave until the train departed. He felt miserable sending his brother away, he felt helpless and probably like the worst brother ever. He KNEW in his heart that Ed was just doing this to appease him, cloaking him again in ignorance, trying to protect him. Al didn't need protection anymore; he didn't want his brother to just say he was getting help to ease his mind.

_Ed has so many problems, and he won't talk to anyone. If he can't talk to me, how the hell is he going to open up to Mustang?_

Al hadn't even realized how hard he was biting his lip. _Maybe Mustang can relate to him more now. Maybe someone else is able to get through to him. _He thought, barely daring to hope.

* * *

Ed's ears perked up as he heard the wheels of a food cart inch closer. "Sir can I offer you any refreshments this evening?"

"A gin and tonic would be great if you would." Ed smiled, sliding her his ID. It felt nice to be able to drink without his brother's judgment on his back constantly. Al didn't drink at all, so Ed's drinking was amplified in his eyes. But really Ed didn't drink _that_ much.

Hell, maybe Al was right. As much as he loved his baby brother it might be easier to be around people that were more familiar with alcohol. Like Mustang, hadn't seen that bastard in awhile. Not since his return from the gate. Even though they were friends at this point he still couldn't resist referring to the new Brigadier-General as 'bastard' at least once per conversation.

_Wonder if he'll think I've changed any_… Ed mused to himself.

He had grown some the past year, broader and taller, though he didn't eat near as much as he did in his teenage years. His hair was held back in a ponytail and his jaw line was slightly more prominent. Would Mustang notice?

Ed felt slightly nervous at the prospect of seeing his former superior, no less living with him. That's what Al had arranged, and had Mustang willingly agreed to that? Seemed unlikely, but Al was known for some pretty expert guilt trips.

He tipped his glass back further as his nerves picked up. The alcohol warmed his body and put him at ease, his worries, his misery, were all left behind for those glorious temporary moments. When the train came to a slow stop he hopped off, two gin and tonics giving him enough fuel for courage against facing his former superior again but not enough to make him tipsy.

"Ed! Yo boss, ovah here!" A hand grabbed Ed by the shoulders and pulled him in for a brief embrace and slap on the back. Ed grinned, surprised to see the familiar face of Lieutenant Jean Havoc.

"How have you been boss!" Havoc grinned back at the flustered Fullmetal .

"Where's Mustang?" Ed said glancing around.

"You know that doesn't answer my question. Hah, but he's back at the office, he thought you could just wait for him to get back. He's gonna bring food. I just got off work myself and offered to pick you up."

"Alright that works, I guess. Thanks Havoc." Ed said giving a grateful nod to his companion.

"You look way skinny boss." Havoc said glancing at him head to toe . "You must've stopped eating as if you'd never see another meal again."

"Yeah…I guess I grew out of that." Ed smiled but there was no warmth in it. In truth food had stopped being something enjoyable and turned into a chore. Sometimes he had to remind himself he needed to eat.

"So what exactly did my brother say about me?" Ed frowned. "I know he called Mustang and set all this up but I'm not sure what he said."

Havoc frowned in return, they had gotten in the car and were headed towards Mustang's home in Central. "I don't know what he said, the Brigadier General didn't say anything about it. All he said was you were coming to stay and he told us to be available for you should you need anything. Wouldn't answer any of our questions."

Havoc paused contemplating. "Actually, he told us specifically not to ask you- so don't rat me out, but why _are_ you here?"

"I guess I need to 'find myself'." Ed smiled at the stupidity of the saying, a cliché at best.

Havoc failed to see the mockery in the reply and nodded. "Well, we all need to do that at one time or another boss. Anddddd here we are!" Havoc pulled up into a beautiful circle driveway, framed by perfectly trimmed hedges and a fountain in the center. The house itself was impressive and wonderfully simple and elegant.

"Mustang lives HERE?" Ed's mouth was unable to shut.

"Yep. And it's just him too, so plenty of space and guest rooms available for you, Ed!" I'm sure you'll be comfortable here, even if Mustang isn't your favorite person in the world."

"Yah I think I can put up with this." Ed couldn't stop admiring the beauty of the place as Havoc let them in and showed him to his room.

After showing him the kitchen and the library Jean left to let Ed settle in. The guest room was really comfortable albeit sparsely decorated. He flopped down on the bed shutting his eyes briefly as he sunk into the soft down blanket. But soon enough curiosity got the best of him and he left to explore, primarily the library.

Mustang's library was clearly the best room in the house. Beautiful mahogany bookcases, and emerald green couches decorated the room. A large desk sat in the very center with a few books on it. Ed excitedly began browsing the selection but his excitement soon dissipated as he realized nearly all the titles were alchemy related. When he used to read it was always alchemy. It felt like an eternity since he had last picked up a book, but the notion of reading reminded him too much of the days when he read those books for a purpose, when _he _had a purpose.

He finally found a history book on Amestrian military history, which he browsed through until he heard the door lock click.

"Ed?" Mustang's voice echoed through the largely empty foyer.

Ed walked out to the foyer abandoning his book, turning to face his former superior.

Mustang was still in uniform, this time wearing a cap. He looked largely the same, but maybe older, slightly more tired. But that could've easily been from work Ed thought to himself. Despite it all, Ed was happy to see him.

"Hey there bastard." Ed grinned putting his hands on his hips.

He was expecting some sort of sharp barb, but to his surprise Mustang just stood there, looking at him.

And after a few seconds Ed began to get uncomfortable.

"Ummm…." Ed began to say.

And with that it seemed like Mustang snapped out of it.

"Ed, it's good to see you. How was your train ride?" Mustang's eyes were on the floor, briskly now ruffling through his suitcase but Ed saw a faint tinge of red on his cheeks.

_Interesting._

"It was fine, thanks. Also…thank you for having me here. Your house is insane." Ed gestured around the place.

Mustang smiled at the rare praise from his old subordinate. "Of course, don't even mention it Fullmetal. I owe you for it."

"Still Fullmetal eh?" Ed grinned but it soon faded. "Can't really call me that anymore, can you."

"I guess old habits die hard." Mustang replied.

"Yep, they sure do." Ed scowled, remembering the countless times he had clapped his hands together expecting alchemy, but instead was hit with the bitter realization all over again…

"So what exactly did Al tell you about me?" Ed whirled on him, somehow seeing Mustang brought back a lot of that fire he had lacked the past year. Old habits indeed…

Mustang brushed off the attack gracefully. "Why don't we talk about it over dinner."

"And a drink?" Ed said bitterly.

"If you want."

Ed's eyebrows rose in surprise, he expected there to be some sort of intervention upon arrival. Something he would blow off for sure. But if Mustang was going to stay off his back that was more than okay with him.

"Don't look so surprised. You're an adult, and capable of making your own decisions as you've been doing for years."

Regardless, Ed was still suspicious. But he decided to put his 'freedom' to the test tonight with a few drinks, hopefully on Mustang's tab.

"So where are you taking me for dinner? Is this like a date?" Ed smiled at Roy.

Mustang balked at the flirtatious smile. "No-uh just dinner."

Ed just laughed lightly. "I was joking…just so you know."

Roy scowled. Ed had caught him off guard, he needed to get back on his game before he was made to look like even more of a fool. "Of course you were. Pardon I'm just so used to people thinking it's more than dinner."

"Doubt that…" Ed muttered, smile quickly turning into a glare.

They soon left, Ed following the victorious Mustang out the front door and taking the passenger side of the sleek black car.

_Even the car is top notch_. Ed thought to himself, barely containing how impressed he was by the automobile, noticing how Roy smirked at the open admiration.

"Pretty nice isn't it? Cost a pretty penny though."

Edward scoffed. "Yeah right, who'd you have to blow to get this anyway?"

Roy's mouth dropped open. "I didn't think you could get more vulgar Fullmetal, but you consistently surprise me."

"Oh trust me I'm full of surprises." Ed gave a sly smile at him again.

Roy was immediately flustered._ There's that flirtatious smile again. What the hell is going on?_

"So are you going to take me some swanky place? After seeing your car and your house I wouldn't be surprised."

"I've seen the way you eat, there's no way those swanky places serve the portions you're looking for." Mustang growled.

"Heh, well let's go somewhere with booze if at all possible." Ed watched Mustang's face to gauge his reaction, but was met with stone.

"Yes of course, most places have alcohol."

"Then we'll talk about what we need to talk about?"

"If you want to, we shall. I'm a man of my word."

"We'll see." Ed grumbled.

* * *

They ate at some nice but more modest restaurant, Mustang not missing anything as Ed drank more than he ate, granted Roy had a few cocktails as well, but he was nowhere near Ed's status.

"This place is good. " Ed said smiling. His eyes seemed having trouble focusing but that was the only outward sign that Mustang could notice.

"Yes and now it's time to leave."

"You never talked to me." Ed said defiant. "You _**said**_ you were a man of your word." It was true, the men had mostly chatted about the office and caught up, both forgetting the more serious conversation for the time being.

"Oh you remembered?" Mustang smiled. "Well yes I was going to talk to you. But if you'd rather it wait…"

"No. I need to know what he thinks of me. What he thinks of his brother." Ed's large golden eyes were set and focused on Roy, demanding answers.

Mustang's brow twitched. He had no idea how Ed was when he got drunk, what if he got unreasonably angry? Maybe this wasn't the best idea. He'd seen people that were entirely different animals once inebriated. And Fullmetal was already an angry enough person without the alcohol…

Guess it was best to take the gentle approach.

"He still loves you Ed, he's just worried about you. He wants you to be happy and… he thinks you're not."

Ed frowned and looked down at the table for what felt like a long time to Roy.

And then the impossible happened. Something Mustang would've sworn he would never see in his life.

Ed started to cry.

* * *

A/N :Thanks for reading! And review pleaseee if you could! I love you all :)


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